how many times did i left.
how many did i want to leave?
juz how many times i told myself, i belonged there but actually i dont.
we went there in threes, n i was left alone.
i still struggled through and got my WPR.
i still managed to get my pay. n bought my phone. n bought many things subsequently.
i still managed.
how many times did i cry?
how many times did i tell myself not to cry.
juz how many times i told myself, its okay but actually its not.
i hate i love that place. its joy, its laughters, its relief, its entertainment.
but its not the same anymore.
it became fear, dark, pain n misery.
everytime i go i ended up pathetically sad.
eventually there was nth left for me to appreciate, no matter how hard it is.
i dont even feel lyk going. it had been months i didn step into airport.
i miss the old day everyone play tgr,
but one by one my buddies went.
they left one by one.
n wht was left was endless work alone, esp at the back.
i rmb najjad alwaes caught me crying, she alwaes noe me so well.
yet i made her so so angry n disappointed. she left too.
i rmb so many things n its lyk so near, so ytd. but it was 2007. n its 2009 now.
everything changed drastically. where was the place i felt warm?
i noe its dumb of me. to act ignorant, act blur, act lyk a retard who dont even understand a simple msg. sry adeline, i didn mean it.
i noe its rude of me to ignore all calls n msg.
i rmb the attachments was so fun i didn want to leave at all.
im really lost.
i nv intend to leave. but i think its time. its time to say gdbye n move on.
if only nobody found out. i wldn leave.
i will return with uniform n pen to sign resignation letter, n my smile too. cuz its the last time.
i was wondering if i take some photos thts lyk so retarded. so i decided not to.
i juz want to go there, n etched everything into my mind. leave everything lyk the way it is.
clear n distinct.
one last time.
n i really miss. all the things that happened. it involved alot of ppl to colour this part of my life. n now its time to stop painting n juz sign the damn papers.
juz dont let me cry there.
so what. so what. so what.

20:15:00