got inspired by sm post to update. i learnt cycling in p5, on a rainy day. my dad was quite fang xin n juz become spectator ion lyk tht. so it was raining darn heavily but managed to grasp it without much help. juz when i was so happy n cycling faster, bang n my bike skidded. tht left a scar on my leh. second scar was p5 late for end of years. was chionging v v fast. then dwn slope i forgot to stop the bike n it go crashed. this time was bad. worse, i was lyk left hand n leg badly stratched lah. previous time only crash into the wall only, this time i experienced flying. nv rly ride a bike, but gg ecp with xuanyue for cycling. skating was great lah! shimin say saw jotham skating. which reminds me tht, i can skate. but not v good tht kind, juz able to move n do the '8' thing. cnt skate at ecp, according to section ppl, we r gg to excersise for 2hrs, skating only breaks ur leg. haha.

tenth nov, XUANYUE OUTING!! sometimes i rly hope i was born earlier. hy pek all have lessons lah. actually i miss them alot n hope they can come, but they only free on other days. n everybody timetable clash n its hard to meet up.

i seriously dno wtf im thinking but alot has happened recently. i turned into a fragile freak tht goes on crying for hours which i wont in the past n get myself into big trouble. a day b4 olvls was crying lyk shit. apparently the day b4 IS a tues. n suddenly my world broke apart n wht i used to believe failed to keep strong. i tot its fair, i tot its great, i tot its cool, i tot i loved. but it was all in the past. things keeps changing n when u find tht u cant stop the change, u feel so weak n i rly feel lyk quitting. call me loser or wht, i noe. n so sry i lose temper n started all those crap. i cant keep calm, tried my bez. tnks to those who told me immediately, though i will noe it sooner or later, tnks for saving me. i tried to pull the broken pieces but its hard, i m even wondering shld i turn up on monday. m i even needed? things goes all wrong when i leave for awhile. lyk u leave a kid outside a shop, go get ur things n comes out finding the kid missing. n all sorts of things came to ur mind lah. n frustration build up when lcs didn pick up phone when i had an impt ques to ask for olvl. it juz feels bad, n im not angry. juz sad n disappointed in myself, in wht i had believed. it breaks my heart to see this change. call me emotional or exageration, but yes i rly felt this way. though snr tried hard telling me, n i noe tht its not the physical issue tht mental. its a fact tht u misused my trust AGN. when can i stop believing u. im stupid. i rather u tell me than to do things behind me. dont giv yourself excuses, i wont get angry tht easily. so dont say wht scared i angry stuff. cut those crap. why not say tht u dont have the courage to tell me n chose to do those things. even if im angry, it wont be for long i start toking agn. thts me. so i trusted u aft being angry, n yet u misused it agn. is this gg to repeat. yes. now my heart is dead n im nv gonna get myself involved agn. nv. nv.

today is a quiet day. laughed alot esp during english. to my horror everyone is using blogspot for el journal. haha. i haven done yet. felt much beta, esp eileen msg. its good to be harsh, knock some sense into my head.

17:10:00